the real reason you’re scared to pivot

can you build a multipassionate, nonlinear career without a safety net? | fhg #70

Happy Sunday financial hotties,

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the stories we tell ourselves about privilege, talent, and who gets to have a nonlinear life. And if I’m honest, this reflection started in a place I don’t talk about often.

For a long time, I didn’t think I was someone who could ever take big swings or make unusual career moves.

And a lack of ambition to do so was never my problem — it was because I had built my entire identity (as a teenager and in my 20s) around avoiding mistakes.

And when I didn’t get into university at 18, it felt like confirmation. A public and embarrassing verdict on my life’s potential.

I convinced myself that people with privilege were simply built different. They took risks. They bounced back. They reinvented themselves. I thought they had some inner stability I didn’t.

It took me years to realise I had misunderstood what privilege actually gives you, and what I had been building without knowing.

And that’s what I want to explore with you today.

P.S. I want this issue to remind you that your path, and whatever you’ve had to overcome in life hasn’t made you less capable. It’s made you more resilient, more strategic, and more emotionally trained than you give yourself credit for.

What we think we need in order to suceed

When I’ve spoken with other ambitious women on this topic, I’ve noticed that the thinking pattern is the same.

They think it’s this lack of privilege that blocks them from taking bold career moves. They worry that one mistake will cost them everything. They assume a nonlinear path is more reserved for people with money, connections, or backup plans, because that gives you the stability to take risk.

And after some research for this issue I found that stats actually back up this fear, for example 60% of people who want to leave their job say financial insecurity is the only thing stopping them.

But privilege isn’t the only thing holding a lot of us back. For many of us, the deeper barrier is tolerance, and privilege simply makes tolerance easier to build.

The tolerance to hold uncertainty without thinking it defines your life, take action before you feel ready, or keep going even when nothing is guaranteed.

What I misunderstood for most of my 20s was not realising that tolerance was built in every moment that I failed at something, or got something wrong.

Missing those grades taught me how to survive embarrassment and rebuild momentum instead of giving up (which was also an option).

And years later, these exact skills became the reason I could walk away from a stable job and build something of my own.

And so with hindsight, the setbacks that I thought were proof I wasn’t cut out for my dream life ended up being the very things training me for it.

People with privilege get their tolerance externally. People without privilege often build it internally. And that internal tolerance can take you far.

Five ways to build tolerance when you don’t come from privilege

If privilege gives people room for error, tolerance is how you create that room for yourself.

These five practices strengthen your ability to take risks without losing your grounding.

1. Take micro-risks every week

Start taking tiny risks, but repeatedly.

Think about your daily life, or the last year of your life—what have you backed out of or wished you went for? Was it a job you didn’t feel good enough for, or a conversation with someone interesting you didn’t feel cool enough to have?

You could:

• Apply for something you’re not perfectly qualified for

• Send a DM to someone you admire

• Share your work publicly

Tolerance grows with repetition, but repetition only happens when it’s easy. So make it easy at first by making it small.

2. Build a six to nine month “runway buffer”

Now with this one, you only need enough to cover your basic life costs.

Anything far beyond that can create a sense of waiting for the ‘perfect’ conditions, which delays action…perhaps a controversial opinion of mine. 60% of people postpone career decisions because they overestimate how much they need. Start smaller (but much smaller than you think).

3. Track evidence of resilience

Write down every moment you handled something you didn’t think you could.

Create a file of proof that you survive the wobble of life. Self-trust grows from data, especially data that you can record and remember.

4. Reduce decision stakes by shrinking the experiment

Instead of quitting your job to “become a creator,” aim to make £500 outside your salary.

Instead of pivoting careers, shadow someone for a week.

Tolerance builds when the cost of being wrong feels manageable.

5. Borrow tolerance from structure

Systems reduce fear: a financial hot girl philosophy.

Pick a spending plan. A weekly review. A Decide Once routine for stressful decisions. The more predictable your environment becomes, the more uncertainty your brain can absorb.

The one thing to remember

Remember that while privilege is the reason someone can have a nonlinear career, tolerance is something anyone can build.

And tolerance is learnable. Your setbacks taught you more tolerance than you realise. Your failures built (and will build) capacity long before you understood what capacity even was.

The only difference between someone who takes risks and someone who doesn’t is what they believe they can withstand.

You’ve already built the hardest part without realising. Now it’s time to use it.