I like so much of this advice, besides the use of the word "obsessed." I do truly think that we all need to be financially educated, but I'd much rather be obsessed with the freedom and stability that money can provide us versus the money itself!
This was very realistic and practical especially in the aspect where you stated in knowing the difference in the emotions of being in a relationship, wanting to be in a relationship and being able to walk away when you have to. I do feel that as much as you state “Two aligned incomes can materially impact how fast you build wealth, and a strategic partnership can be life changing.” It’s still definitely always easier to manage and make decisions when you’re only managing your finances.
Definitely! Managing a team will always be more difficult but the reward for that will always be bigger. I think step 1 - understanding and managing your own finances (like you say) is crucial because you then don’t lose that identity or knowledge in a relationship too
Such an important post! Being financially stable is a need rather than a choice and tbh I’ve seen way too many women relying on their partners and begging for scrapes to ever be okay with depending on anyone. Living your own life based on other people’s rules and preferences seems so unfair and your point about the future being unpredictable is spot on!
Highly appreciate what you’re doing here by speaking up about these matters, to go into depth and really explain the ‘why’ is essential because lot of times women’s need for financial independence can be looked at in negative light (absurd!)
absurd it truly is!!! that's what motivated me to title the post in this way too. watching women be disadvantaged (in the smallest ways) because of money and have the double standard of being labelled intense/money minded/'gold digging'/cold for focussing on finances is unbelievably frustrating
Love your take, but I think both can be true. Building wealth together with your partner, and having financial security if things don't go as planned, without having to do it secretly or privately.
It actually makes sense to have separate accounts, especially when it comes to estate planning.
You could be separated by death and end up with nothing if everything was in your spouse's or joint names.
Both can 100% be true, I said in the second half of this issue that actually two incomes can accelerate wealth a lot!
And I think privacy (very different from secrecy) doesn’t take away from how much you love and trust your partner because the reality of life always has to be factored in.
Your last sentence is the key point - you just never know what will happen so having some sort of financial independence AND identity is so important
I needed this I am now starting over at 25 as I’ve been the woman you described as having to live in fear etc my wish is for every woman to build herself before allowing the emotion part to consume solely may we all be blessed with the freedom of money 🥹
Because I am older, let me share how your proposal panned out for me.
Even while married, I opened a bank account and trading account under my name.
I keep a log of all the money coming in and all the expenses. I’ve been doing this for decades. Every quarter, I go over the assets, which now can cover for the rest of my life. (I’m responsible for my finances, regardless of my romantic situation). This calculation is based on me supporting myself. Sharing expenses would be a plus, of course!
With motherhood, I left my (good) job and started to work from home. Now, it’s common practice; in 2000, when I did it, it was pretty much unheard of. I invite people to figure out ways of making money as they dictate.
I learned the legal and financial implications of cohabitation/future marriages before making any commitments.
As you say, if/when I choose to live with a partner, it’s solely because of love, not need.
I like so much of this advice, besides the use of the word "obsessed." I do truly think that we all need to be financially educated, but I'd much rather be obsessed with the freedom and stability that money can provide us versus the money itself!
Hehe me too but if using ‘obsessed’ makes more people read this then I’ll take it
This was very realistic and practical especially in the aspect where you stated in knowing the difference in the emotions of being in a relationship, wanting to be in a relationship and being able to walk away when you have to. I do feel that as much as you state “Two aligned incomes can materially impact how fast you build wealth, and a strategic partnership can be life changing.” It’s still definitely always easier to manage and make decisions when you’re only managing your finances.
Definitely! Managing a team will always be more difficult but the reward for that will always be bigger. I think step 1 - understanding and managing your own finances (like you say) is crucial because you then don’t lose that identity or knowledge in a relationship too
That’s agreed upon. Currently, I’m trying to build my habit of tracking my expenses
Such an important post! Being financially stable is a need rather than a choice and tbh I’ve seen way too many women relying on their partners and begging for scrapes to ever be okay with depending on anyone. Living your own life based on other people’s rules and preferences seems so unfair and your point about the future being unpredictable is spot on!
Highly appreciate what you’re doing here by speaking up about these matters, to go into depth and really explain the ‘why’ is essential because lot of times women’s need for financial independence can be looked at in negative light (absurd!)
absurd it truly is!!! that's what motivated me to title the post in this way too. watching women be disadvantaged (in the smallest ways) because of money and have the double standard of being labelled intense/money minded/'gold digging'/cold for focussing on finances is unbelievably frustrating
Love your take, but I think both can be true. Building wealth together with your partner, and having financial security if things don't go as planned, without having to do it secretly or privately.
It actually makes sense to have separate accounts, especially when it comes to estate planning.
You could be separated by death and end up with nothing if everything was in your spouse's or joint names.
Both can 100% be true, I said in the second half of this issue that actually two incomes can accelerate wealth a lot!
And I think privacy (very different from secrecy) doesn’t take away from how much you love and trust your partner because the reality of life always has to be factored in.
Your last sentence is the key point - you just never know what will happen so having some sort of financial independence AND identity is so important
Yes to this.
Love the boat.
But keep your own life jacket.
Security is not distrust.
It is self respect.
Every woman should be able to leave any situation, calmly, if she has to.
That is not anti love.
That is adult love.
Love the life jacket addition to this analogy, it’s true!
🩷
I needed this I am now starting over at 25 as I’ve been the woman you described as having to live in fear etc my wish is for every woman to build herself before allowing the emotion part to consume solely may we all be blessed with the freedom of money 🥹
Thank you!
Because I am older, let me share how your proposal panned out for me.
Even while married, I opened a bank account and trading account under my name.
I keep a log of all the money coming in and all the expenses. I’ve been doing this for decades. Every quarter, I go over the assets, which now can cover for the rest of my life. (I’m responsible for my finances, regardless of my romantic situation). This calculation is based on me supporting myself. Sharing expenses would be a plus, of course!
With motherhood, I left my (good) job and started to work from home. Now, it’s common practice; in 2000, when I did it, it was pretty much unheard of. I invite people to figure out ways of making money as they dictate.
I learned the legal and financial implications of cohabitation/future marriages before making any commitments.
As you say, if/when I choose to live with a partner, it’s solely because of love, not need.
Really enjoyed this! Thank you 🤎